Thursday, January 10, 2008

Black White and Grey

There is a rather large difference between ‘perception’ and ‘knowledge.’ Knowledge is the black and white—the indisputable, the same words from each person’s mouth. Perception is the interpretation of the events, people, places etc.

This blog took me a long time to think about. Although I’ve always believed there to be a clear differentiation between perception and knowledge, I have never come up with concrete definitions to back my assertion. I sat down the other day to contemplate just what the difference is between a person’s perception and a person’s knowledge.

Perceiving. Interpreting. Every person’s perception is different. Because of the very fact that everybody’s perception varies, this makes it rather unreliable. Just because a person says something happened the way they say it did, doesn’t make it legitimate. Perception is disputable. Simply because one person sees something one way, does not make that the way it is. Perception is up for interpretation. Be it good or bad, perception is often a person’s immediate judgment.

Knowledge is indisputable. Knowledge is reliable. Knowledge does not vary from person to person. Fact is universal. For instance, it’s fact that George W. Bush is a Yale Graduate. However, frequently when the President is talked about, it is not so apparent through people’s perceptions of Bush that he is, in fact, a Yale graduate. Bush is perceived, it is indisputable common knowledge that he is an alum of Yale University.

With stubborn people especially, perception and knowledge often are confused. When talking with an obstinate person, they frequently turn their opinion and perception of varying events, people, etc into fact. Regardless of the validity or concreteness of their statements, they believe their word to be irrefutable.

In regards to perception and knowledge, validity is an issue. While in Psychology class with Mr. Roy, we studied court cases and memory. Often times, what a person perceives to have happened in, say, a bank robbery, isn’t necessarily what actually occurred. In one case, a university set up a purse snatching. A (hired) man was to walk into the classroom, stand for about 3 seconds, then make a dash to snatch the purse and exit quickly. When students were asked to recount the event, each story differed. Although each story is what the students perceived to have happened, it is not fact. Because perception is so unreliable, that is the very reason eyewitness testimonies in court hold minimal weight. Simply because a person perceived an event to occur in a certain way, is not fact. They do not have knowledge of what took place. They merely have their interpretation, recollection, and perception of the event.

For this class I began research on Thucydides. After being exiled, he went to veterans of the Peloponnesian War and interviewed them. Gathering all the first hand accounts, war stories, and various other information, Thucydides then began to sift through his findings. What Thucydides published is what Thucydides believed to be the fact. Discarding the misconstrued perceptions of the war, Thucydides tried to base his books on entirely truth. Only genuine knowledge of and about the war was published. Certainly around long before The Peloponnesian Wars the idea of the differentiation between people’s perceptions of events and people’s knowledge of events existed.

Majority of the time, knowledge can come without perception. Hard-facts, such as the year the first Coca-Cola was produced, is pure knowledge. It takes no perception to, when asked, say 1886. It is a fact. If you ask another person the year the first Coca-Cola was served their answer would either be right or wrong- either 1886 or another date. If the date were incorrect, the person did not know the answer.

Likewise, in order to perceive something, you must not necessarily know it. Granted, sometimes a person’s perception is knowledge. Though, by the mere definition of perception, it is not grounded in fact.

To some extent, there are different levels of knowledge. On a more practical level, I have found this out on many a test. I believed I knew the material. I though I had a good grasp on what the test was to be on, and I fully comprehended the matter. Though, upon taking the test, I realized I merely had a general concept of the material. I did not know it—in actuality I could only regurgitate facts. On the surface it would appear that I knew the material, I did not truly know it well. The most supreme level of knowledge is complete and utter understanding of the topic at hand. It is debatable whether or not this level can ever be ascertained, to TRULY have the highest level of knowledge.

Perception and knowledge- what is what? Is it even possible to know what knowledge is? Isn’t the mere definition of perception perceptual? After much contemplation I’ve created what I believe to be perception and knowledge. Perception is a personal experience, belief etc. that is subjective. A perception is not necessarily fact. The person may not necessarily know anything, merely what they have perceived. Perception is disputable.

Knowledge, on the other hand, is indisputable. As stated before, knowledge is black and white. Knowledge lies in fact; while the very basis of fact is that it is universal.

In the world, everything claim, story, statement—everything is perception of knowledge. We are constantly bombarded with perceived occurrences and knowledgeable words. It is up to us to decide what is truth. It is up to us to find the validity in the myriad of stories. It is up to us to seed through the knowledge, and the perception and create our own versions of both.

Monday, December 10, 2007

O, What a Scary Place My Mind Has Proved to Be...

Knowing oneself is knowing capabilities. It is knowing what makes you stand and what makes you fall. It is admitting weakness as well as admitting strengths. Most of all, it’s about knowing what you can handle. Recently a teacher told me, “school is about pushing you to the limit. It’s about seeing how much you can handle, and making you stronger.” This statement is applicable outside of school as well. If you don’t know yourself and how much you can handle, how can you ever succeed and surpass your expectations and potential? Success and fulfillment will be only be attained if one truly knows his or herself.

When assigned this blog, I thought I had a pretty good grasp on who I was, what I was, and why I am who I am and what I am. Being forced to evaluate myself made me come to several realizations. One being, I don’t know myself nearly as well as I thought I did. I still have a lot to learn.

I didn’t have to think very hard to figure out my worst qualities. I came up with several, none of which I’m all too proud of. I was curious why writing down my flaws was so much easier than simply compiling one strength of mine. My faults were easily found.

My worst quality is my tendency to shut people out. In general, I am a sensitive person. I enjoy the company of my friends and I cherish the relationships and bonds I form. I hold my friendships in such high regard, and therefore find myself shutting out those who betray me in the slightest, or hurt me in the least. As I said, I am a, more or less, sensitive person. Because of this, I regrettably, quickly shut out those who hurt me. Rather than face the problems head on and confront the person, I contemptuously cut them out. Although I’m aware this is my pitfall, I do it anyways—I shut people out. It doesn’t take a whole lot for me to let a person in, though once they hurt me they are out. As a pseudo protective maneuver I simply shut out the person who hurt me, rather than make myself susceptible to more pain. I need to work on my worst quality. Despite knowing I shut people out rather than face them, I still find it hard to change this about me.

Another downfall of mine is my hatred of change. I like consistency. I enjoy predictability. I lack spontaneity. Although it’s by choice, I feel as if I’m missing something in my lack of adjustability. With college just around the corner, I await the inevitable. No matter how much I hate change, soon, my life will alter drastically. My friends will go to various parts of the country, my family’s quarks will suddenly seem more endearing, and the life I’ve known thus far will far from be the same. I know I hate change. I know this is a fault of mine. I know I need to fix this. In knowing this about myself, my weakness is addressed and I am attempting to grow.

To be honest, I sat for a long time contemplating all of my traits—which are my best, which are my worst. What makes me crack? What can I handle best? After great struggle, I concluded I don’t know myself as well as I thought. Especially after writing countless college essays, I thought I knew myself pretty well. I believed I knew who I was, what I can do and what I can’t do. Writing this made me reevaluate my thoughts.

What is my BEST quality? Though, I like to regard myself as that adorable, loving, humorous, intelligent kid who upon encountering, everybody falls in love with…this is not the case. Granted, I know I have strengths, I find them harder to define. After much contemplation I concluded my biggest strength is my passion. I have never been one who’s able to “ half-ass” anything. If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it. I have always been into art from a young age. Entering high school, I became more and more involved in art. Art is my passion. I do what I love. I throw myself into what I love to do, and I do it well. My passion is my best quality. The devotion and fervor I show towards what I love makes me me.

In doing this blog, I found I have many more bad qualities than good. Most likely I’m just more apt to find my flaws than to find my strengths, hopefully it’s not truly the case that I have more flaws than assets. Why is it easy for me to rattle off my flaws? Why did it take me no time at all to conclude that I hate change, that I lack spontaneity, that I shut people out, that I am inhibited, that I am reluctant to let people in, and that I lack confidence? Why did it take me hours to pick just one good trait of mine? Why did I need to ask friends and family just to conjure up one good quality I believe I have? Perhaps it’s because I do lack confidence. Perhaps it’s because I need some reassurance. Perhaps it’s really just because I have a lot to work on. Maybe now I know myself better. Maybe after writing this blog entry I’ve become more in touch with who I really am and who I can become. Maybe in writing this blog, I’ll become more aware of just how many good qualities I possess, while working on diminishing my less admirable attributes.

This blog made me make sense to myself. In writing down my strengths and my weaknesses, flaws and strong points, I realized I make sense. Granted, I am still that weird kid whose mind is a crazy place, I now know the tracks of my mind at least connect and intertwine at some points.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Throw It In Neutral

A little on the gas, little off the clutch. I did it. I was in second gear now. The tachometer crept past the orange illuminated three. Foot off the gas. Shift. A little on the gas now, a little off the clutch. Slowly, equal pressure. The car bucked slightly. “Equal pressure” my mom reminded me again making her two hands move up and down simultaneously in opposite directions.

I almost had it down. Driving a standard was not nearly as easy as I expected. So much concentration and skill was necessary simply not to stall the car pulling into a busy intersection.

Finally, I had made it—fourth gear, I was cruising now. I had one arm out my window. I felt like the coolest kid ever; driving a standard, wind in my hair, driving along in my big bad Honda Accord. As I peered through my aviators, I realized the road narrowed then disappeared; a downward hill. I didn’t know what to do. Grabbing the wheel steadily with both hands I made my way down the hill. My mom noticed my apprehension; she also noticed I was applying gas while going downhill.

“Shift into neutral when going downhill. There’s no point in wasting gas when you can coast,” my mother advised me. Engaging the clutch and shifting the car into neutral we glided down the hill with great ease.

“ Shift back into gear, you need a lot of pep to get up this upcoming hill,” my mom said as we finished our descent. Engage the clutch. A little on the gas, a little off the clutch. We chugged up the hill.

*******


Coming home from a party, my friend and I discussed a close friends’ quarrel. We began to talk about how battles were being fought when the seas were calm. Nobody was angry at each other, and yet the enemies started brawls for unapparent reasons.

“They were all hanging out on Monday,” my friend in the passenger’s seat began. First gear. “There was nothing wrong, then on Tuesday he decided to lie about something stupid. “Second gear. “I don’t get why they start these fights when everything is fine.” Third gear. “It doesn’t seem worth it. When there’s nothing wrong, why waste the energy fighting.” Throw it in neutral.

I conversed with my friend about this enigmatic disorder the group of friends seemingly possesses. Why waste energy fighting when there’s nothing to fight about. Why waste gas going downhill—coast. There’s no need to make waves when it’s low tide. “I don’t get their fights either,” I replied to my friend. They should save steam for the fights worth fighting.”

On our way home, my friend and I were approaching a giant hill. “Let’s see how long we can stay in neutral,” my friend said, knowing of the little game I invented. Since my mom’s advice, I had made it a sort of challenge, seeing how long I could stay in neutral. I saw no point in wasting fuel when the effort was neither necessary nor noted.
“Okay,” I replied, taking on my friends challenge. Engage clutch. Throw it in neutral.

As we glided downward, the tachometer resting contently between zero and one, we concluded our discussion. “ I see no need to pick sides,” I stated. My friend agreed. We concurred it simply wasn’t worth it. The energy was unnecessary and pointless. As we continued our descent, my friend and I discussed how the feuding friends needed to select their squabbles.

“I see their arguing as pointless. When you need the pep, use the force. But when times are easy, throw it in neutral and coast. There’s no need to waste the effort.” My friend looked at me and smiled as he glanced down to my car’s gearbox, noticing we were still riding in neutral until the approaching incline.

Friday, October 19, 2007

"Do what you love and @#$% the rest."

I’ve never want to be an old person who is old. The senior who yells at children, who goes to sleep around dinnertime, eats dinner around lunchtime and complains about all the lost time, wasted time and long passed time. Before I die I want to reflect on my life and not wish I had more time to do what “I’d always wanted to do.” A life’s value is determined by not only the life lead, but also the lives affected.
Upon milestones in a life-- be it a daughters graduation, a friend or parent’s death, a son’s marriage etc- it causes reflection on your life. At these reflection points an inward look should be taken and life examined. Are you where you wanted to be at this point in time? Are you living a stable life? Are you happy? All these questions should be asked at each milestone of life. If a life is not examined more than one, satisfaction cannot be reached. Many, upon realizing the end is near, begin to examine their life and contemplate the should haves and could haves. If it takes a lifetime to conclude you did not live a well-fulfilled and satisfying life, then there is no room for improvement. With recurrent inspections of life a happier, more complete life will be lead.
For as long as the sun has risen and set the meaning and purpose of life has been pondered. In the end, the meaning and purpose of life differs from person to person. Sadly, many view the meaning of life as becoming as wealthy as possible. To another, raising a family. And yet another may view their meaning and purpose in life to help others. To me the meaning of life is happiness. Though utopist and simplistic, happiness, to me, serves as the meaning and purpose of life. In order to live out the meaning and purpose of life, several things will assure this.
At the end of my life I want my only regret to be not living longer. No single person can decide if another has lived a life of value. The only one who can determine the value of a life is if the life being measured is their own. If minimal lamentations are felt then a life may be considered valuable. If the life lead helped and influenced others in a positive way, the life may be considered valuable. If the life lead was minimally selfish, the life may be considered valuable. What is the definitive quality a life must have to be truly considered a valuable life is if the person living the life was happy. Albert Camus says it best when he asserts “you will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. “ Do what you love, and happiness will ensue. If a life is lived seeking happiness through actions, the life has little value. Though, a life has great value if happiness is brought about through actions.
There are five things I hope to accomplish before I die. In no particular order, I would like to experience true love; I would like to perform a large scale, completely selfless act; I would like to learn five instruments; I would like to experience motherhood; and I would like to be truly happy with my career.
The most coveted and sought after possession is the love of another. To experience true love is something I hope to feel before I die. The codependency, the meshing of two souls, utter devotion to each other is love. I want to love and be loved- truly madly deeply loved. A life void of true love seems like an empty life. If I were to die without experienced ‘true love’ I do not feel as though my life would be nearly as complete. Though my desire for ‘true love’ may do little for humanity, in a way it does. Upon seeing love in its truest and purest form, hope for the world may be found. Amidst all the fighting and unrest, and absolute hatred amongst the world the fact that true love can exist in the same place is comforting. Humanity may not be drastically changed in Michaela finding true love, though on a small scale it may evoke hope and optimism.
Junior year in Spanish class we read a short story about a man seeking a soul mate. When listing characteristics the girl must possess, he determined the girl must commit small acts of kindness. He distinguished the difference between small and larger acts of kindness is that small acts are the kind that nobody sees and are done solely for the betterment of the world; whereas a large act of kindness was done for many to see and many to praise about. Before I die I would like one act of complete selflessness that greatly affected somebody’s life to stand out in my mind. I would feel as though my life was well lived if I helped somebody completely selflessly. In respect to humanity, my act of kindness would hardly have an impact. Though, knowing I helped one person would be enough satisfaction for me. I do not need to know I was valuable to humanity. Helping one person significantly would make my life a life I could be proud of.
I have always been a musical person; I have been playing the piano for about eleven years now. A while ago I decided that before I die I would like to know five instruments very well. With the piano more or less crossed off my list, I would also like to learn the drums, the guitar, the bass, the harmonica and the saxophone. In doing so I would prove to myself my true talent and agility of my musical talent. Playing five instruments with ease would not affect humanity, other than to entertain them. In keeping art and music alive I may affect a few. Though, the goal I set of learning five instruments is for myself, not for civilization. In doing so I would feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and achievement in my life.
Henry Ward Beecher said “there is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child.” To experience such an intense emotion and connection with another human being would make my life infinitely valuable. I cannot perceive the feeling of being a mother, though one day, before I die, I hope to know it first hand. To bring a child into the world, care for them, raise them well, and send them off into the world spreading good morals and love would be the most fulfilling of all accomplishments. With all of the immoral people in the world, nurturing a good person and leading them out into the world could make a great difference in society. After all, it only takes one person to change the world.
Lastly, I would like to reflect upon my life at death and realize the career path I chose brought me true happiness. Currently I have every intention of becoming an artist. Though upon hearing this, many elders put on a puzzled face and begin to tell me to ‘be a doctor. They make a ton of money.’ The suggestions vary, though few encourage my chosen path. To me, money is not equated with happiness. Regardless of how much money I make or what status I hold, I hope to lead a career in which I am truly happy doing. My happiness is more important to me than my wealth. When examining my life, I hope my ideal that ‘happiness trumps money’ prevails. I is very important to me that I do not sell out my ideals to conform to society’s belief that money is the most important thing of all, and to acquire wealth is to attain happiness. The greater good of humanity will not be largely affected by my desire to be happy with my chosen career path, though that is okay. Even if a few are inspired by my dedication and ideals, then my life had meaning.
When I reach a milestone in my life, and begin to reflect upon the life I am leading I hope I am satisfied. A life led devoid of happiness is a life without value. The time will come when I know I’m dying. When that time comes I hope I see my life as valuable, one I can be proud of, one that can be shared with pride. The meaning and purpose of life is happiness, and I wish to lead my life fulfilling that—being happy. Before I am dead, I hope to experience true love; I desire to perform a large scale, completely selfless act; I yearn to learn five instruments; I want to experience motherhood; and I anticipate being truly happy with my career. If I die happy, content with my life, and satisfied with the impact I had on others, I can safely qualify my life as a life of value.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

...and it goes on and on, my friends

In seeking everlasting life, Gilgamesh is told "there is no permanence"(106). Regardless of the struggle to attain something forever, you will ultimately fail. Be it life, love or loot, it cannot be possessed indefinitely. Our world is constantly changing. Nothing remains forever. The newest thing is soon to be obsolete, replaced with something even newer.


Due to the impermanence of life, humanity begins ever-present detachment. Because it is known that in time what you have will be gone, we detach ourselves. Rather than cherishing moments, people and objects human beings remove themselves. To go about daily life believing your life is valueless, to focus on the common lot of man, to see the future not the present, is bad. As James Taylor professes, “"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.” The impermanence of all things--concrete or abstract--often taints life. Believing there is no worth in becoming attached because it soon will be gone threatens the quality of life. Taylor is saying in enjoying life, and treasuring what is possessed while it is possessed is the secret to leading a happy life.


Though, as time progresses, knowledge is gained about impermanence. Due to this acquired knowledge-be it from Utnapishtim or even Mufasa-the idea that "there is no permanence"(106) is further enforced. In reference to the movie, The Lion King, at a young age Simba learns about death. His all-knowing father, King Mufasa, tells him of his temporality on Earth, and what is to come in the afterlife. After explaining how the stars are "the great kings of the past," Mufasa then assures Simba "those kings will always be there to guide you and so will I"(The Lion King). When we die, what remains on earth is why we live. Upon dying, a life is measured. Mufasa tells Simba, his life is lived so when he dies, as all creatures do (thus completing the circle of life) he shall guide those after him.


A sense of eternal life is established through beliefs, and often times religion. An “everlasting” life is a common term for the Catholic Church. Though deceased, the spirit is still alive in all of the people it touched. A sense of eternal life is instituted through the belief that there is an afterlife, along with the concept that the spirit still lives in those who remain alive. What ultimately is remembered of us once we pass gives meaning in life. The legacy left behind is worth living. The concept of coloring yourself a “legend” allows life to be lived believing eventually the bigger picture will be colored.

Though in literally dying, a life ‘ends,’ symbolically a life ends many times. Stages are completed multiple times throughout a life. Despite the continuation of life with little regard to the ‘stage’ just graduated, in reflecting upon a matured life periods of change are evident. Enkidu experiences monumental change in transforming from beast to man. Following his first transformation, Enkidu ‘knew’ much more than the harlot. Soon, “his heart was filled with the thoughts of man and his mind filled with wisdom”( 65). Many cultures even formally recognize the ‘death’ of one phase and progression to another. Bar mitzvahs, confirmations, quiceaneras etc. all officially mark the end of a chapter in a life. The culmination of ‘psuedo-mini-deaths’ is in they all eventually leading to the real ‘death.’ That marks a life.

If dwelled upon too much, life seems meaningless and dull. Because of the impermanence of all it is important to live while you’re alive, and not take for granted the time you have with what you have. Though immortality is not attainable, in essence it is possible to live forever. Despite failing to achieve immortality, all characters of Gilgamesh are still alive today-though not physically. The legend left behind measures a life. Why we live is so when die, our legacy is left behind. How strongly a life is remembered measure the quality of the life.

Monday, September 17, 2007

"So you want to be a hero kid? Well, whoopdie doo"

In a utopian society there would be no need for heroes. When problems arise that trouble the society, a hero is created or formed. The ‘hero’ possesses the necessary traits to deal with and conquer the problem at hand. Be it in ancient epic tales, such as The Odyssey, mid 20th Century iconic musicians, or present day figures, the idea of a hero is omnipresent. The one who flies in to save the day, the person always there to catch you before you plummet downwards, the human invincible to all, possessing qualities others deeply wish they attained- the hero. Heroes have existed for as long as time, there has always been the person who, against all odds, prevails and saves the city, world, damsel etc.

Often times the actions of a hero, out of context, would be viewed much differently. To many, soldiers are viewed as heroes, and rightfully so. When placed in the time and place, when and where hope is needed, soldiers are heroes. The thought of vulnerability and susceptibility fears nations, thus a solution is made. In idolizing the brave, sly, fearless, indestructible figure, the nation puts itself at ease. In almost immortalizing the humans, people will lull themselves into security because of the presence of heroes. Firefighters, police officers, and various other professions where, on a daily occurrence, heroism is exemplified, calm society. The logical fears such as fires, and crimes are, perhaps prematurely, cast away in thinking about the protection they are getting from the ‘Herculean’ citizens.

Heroines, though understates, are present in history as well. In a male-centric society, however, traits which would qualify a man as a hero, often casts a different shadow on women. Maya Angelou is a prime example of double standards in classifying heroes. Though brave, courageous, persevering and bold—traits that would certainly certify a man a hero--caused great debate regarding Angelou. She was seen as a black female who didn’t accept her place in a society dominated by white males. Heroines are less recollectable due to the fact that they are understated and undervalued due to societies biases.

Heroes create an unnecessary reliability. It’s clear in every movie, book, or TV show staring a male hero-be it Lois Lane, Princess Leia, or any other damsel in distress-they await the hero. There is no need to act with heroism when in no time, she will be saved and swept off her feet by the hero.

Brecht was astute in stating “unhappy the land that needs heroes.” When a hero, or heroine, is present there is no need nor urge to step up. Why become braver, fight harder, and persevere longer when society will turn to the immortalized figure for help and idolization regardless? There is no need to. In hyperbolizing traits every human wishes they had—bravery, mental and physical strength, courage, etc.—society is brought down. There never will be a perfect citizen, merely an exaggerated and embellished concept of a hero to which nobody can compare.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Testing

Just making sure this works.